Ladies and gentlemen, hide your children!
Brunei has undergone some bizarre ecological change that has drastic effects on our lifestyles as we know it. Day by day, this threat has slowly grown from a mild nuisance to... a very huge nuisance! They have hit cafes and hang out spots all over the Brunei Muara district, and they are merciless. Women, children, old men with canes, young men without canes. They attack whoever and whatever they come in contact with, and all efforts to curb their onslaught have failed.
I speak, of course, of the MOSQUITOES!
They bite your arms, your legs, the insides of your thighs (especially annoying if you wear jeans and you cant scratch the spot through your jeans). They bite in the day, in the night. Why don't they have an off day? Maybe its because they only live one day? ARGH! Mosquito coils dont scare them, insecticide doesnt smell nice, and I still need to smoke in open air areas. Homaigod... Did the whole population of freaking frogs in Brunei die or something? Why in the freaking hell are these mosquitoes multiplying like Disney teen stars? Why dont they fly to the US and bite Miley Cyrus instead? I'm sure with her being naked most of the time (judging by her photos), the mosquitoes will have a large surface area to bite and enjoy a fat life (all 24 hours of it).
Can we blanket Brunei with pesticide for a day? Please? I'd like to go one day at a cafe without getting my blood sucked by a freaking insect smaller than my pinky. I'm thinking about bringing a bug lamp everywhere I go. Or getting a pet frog. I'll bring it around on a leash so it can excercise while it eats all the mosquitoes. I'm sure it will be pretty fat. As I type this, I have gotten bitten at least 5 times already, with a mosquito coil at my feet and a lit cigarrette in my mouth. The mosquitoes must be equipped with gas masks by now so they dont fear my smoky aura. Damn...
Can someone do something? Environmental board? Ministry of Health? Someone?
I'm changing my deodorant to Ridsect tommorow
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Disney inspiration
The more I listen to my newly downloaded Disney compilation, the more I think the songs are really good for daily inspiration. If I have a really boring task, I'll just think about a Spoonful of Sugar. Work's easier when its a game. If I'm feeling envious, I'll have Under the Sea. Seaweed is always greener in someone elses lake.
Lets prescribe Disney songs to all people that have problems. Having problems with work or love, Hakuna Matata it with a healthy dose of Bare Necessities. For motivation to improve, I'll make a man out of you from Mulan. For hatching a devious plot, so many villain songs ^^. So many choices!!
Lets prescribe Disney songs to all people that have problems. Having problems with work or love, Hakuna Matata it with a healthy dose of Bare Necessities. For motivation to improve, I'll make a man out of you from Mulan. For hatching a devious plot, so many villain songs ^^. So many choices!!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Asswiping your Astro
With all our technology nowadays, you'd think they would design an Astro sattelite dish that can withstand heavy rains without breaking up. Or provide our dishes with a tiny umbrella to help it from getting dry (or wet) humped by the winds and the rains. If I start selling little umbrellas, or if I wanna trademark them, Astro Sattelite Sturdy Wind Interference Protection Equipment, or Asswipe for short, I might end up saving television viewers across the country from losing precious minutes of their favourite Astro shows. How bout it? Asswipe your Astro today!
Music of the 00s
Can anyone understand the Ting Tings? I finally understand what that bloody girl was singing about after I looked at the lyrics. Damn her accent. I thought she was singing banging on my dong which sounds really really dirty... but actually she was saying biting on my tongue (which you can imagine is nothing like what I imagined)
Are new songs all about confusing the listener? Jason Mraz's I'm yours, I can understand the chorus well enough. The rest of it is a blur... kinda like he's mumbling but in a melody. All I hear is Well Its you dum dum di di dum di di dum dum hot that im melted. I'm pretty sure Im not going deaf, and my brain may be getting retarded by UBD but not THAT much.
Enunciation is dying out in music. Songs normally have a few words that you cant make out, but lately its getting ridiculous. Have a listen to Bob Sinclair's What I Want. *pauses and waits for all readers to have a download and a listen*. Yes, the high pitched voice is singing in English. Even the Jonas Brothers mumble through most of their words. (I personally hate them, but they seem to be mildly popular I've heard...) and they're supposed to be role models for the future kiddies. Oh Em Gee
Bring back the properly voiced and enunciated songs like the Frank Sinatras and the Backstreet Boys, the Metallicas and Linkin Parks. Even if Snoop Dogg sings like a lazy mothafaka on weed, at least I understood what he was rapping about... aside from some the words he makes up *Fo shizzle mah nizzle, im the snoop doggy dizzle*
I have an idea to save the current music industry, cause its mostly going to shit anyways, and hire people to help them learn how to talk PROPERLY. Well, not properly, but at least let me understand what you're singing about. Even if the Pussycat dolls are horrible singers, I'd like to know what they are singing about before I dismiss them. In their newest single, all I can hear is Ha ha ha ha, and La la la la, when I grow up etc etc. God awful.
Imagine what songs would mean if you can understand half the words?
In the Ayer - Flo Rida
Cold hard jam, This is my jam
Keep it hard in it till the a.m.
Yall don understand, lemme throw my hands in the ayer ayer ayer
If I took this as the meaning, it would mean, he's having jam. He doesnt want anyone to take his jam, its cold and hard, and when no one understands him, he throws his hands in the air. The air, he stresses, the air.
Hmm... XD maybe I should start looking at all songs this way
Are new songs all about confusing the listener? Jason Mraz's I'm yours, I can understand the chorus well enough. The rest of it is a blur... kinda like he's mumbling but in a melody. All I hear is Well Its you dum dum di di dum di di dum dum hot that im melted. I'm pretty sure Im not going deaf, and my brain may be getting retarded by UBD but not THAT much.
Enunciation is dying out in music. Songs normally have a few words that you cant make out, but lately its getting ridiculous. Have a listen to Bob Sinclair's What I Want. *pauses and waits for all readers to have a download and a listen*. Yes, the high pitched voice is singing in English. Even the Jonas Brothers mumble through most of their words. (I personally hate them, but they seem to be mildly popular I've heard...) and they're supposed to be role models for the future kiddies. Oh Em Gee
Bring back the properly voiced and enunciated songs like the Frank Sinatras and the Backstreet Boys, the Metallicas and Linkin Parks. Even if Snoop Dogg sings like a lazy mothafaka on weed, at least I understood what he was rapping about... aside from some the words he makes up *Fo shizzle mah nizzle, im the snoop doggy dizzle*
I have an idea to save the current music industry, cause its mostly going to shit anyways, and hire people to help them learn how to talk PROPERLY. Well, not properly, but at least let me understand what you're singing about. Even if the Pussycat dolls are horrible singers, I'd like to know what they are singing about before I dismiss them. In their newest single, all I can hear is Ha ha ha ha, and La la la la, when I grow up etc etc. God awful.
Imagine what songs would mean if you can understand half the words?
In the Ayer - Flo Rida
Cold hard jam, This is my jam
Keep it hard in it till the a.m.
Yall don understand, lemme throw my hands in the ayer ayer ayer
If I took this as the meaning, it would mean, he's having jam. He doesnt want anyone to take his jam, its cold and hard, and when no one understands him, he throws his hands in the air. The air, he stresses, the air.
Hmm... XD maybe I should start looking at all songs this way
Mmm
I just realised no one would read this since I wont advertise the site. Oh well, for my eyes to see then :D
Inaugral post: Zombified!
I shall begin by saying... I AM BORED. This is why I decided to start writing a blog whenever I get the itch to start typing something. This blog has no particular purpose but to satisfy my itchy typing fingers. That being said...
What would you do if you were to be attacked by zombies? I'm not talking about mutated fast running zombies. Just your normal everyday living dead. Those that groan and stumble along with an arm or half their mouths missing. What would the average Bruneian do? Would we survive?
Lets make this a bit more interesting. Say you had a starting point. De Fountain cafe in Qlap should do nicely. Lets imagine you were sitting inside De Fountain, and you start noticing zombies lumbering in the front of the cafe. Slow, ugly, smells like someone who stepped in dog shit AND forgot to shower. Dont say you wont be freaked, you'll probably shit in your pants and scream like a girl ( If you already are female, you'll probably not notice a thing, they're kinda look and smell like your ex bfs. LOL)
Anyways, back to escaping, what would a sane person do? Call the police? Sit around and watch them claw the glass? Grab something heavy and go smash them? Jump in the nearby river (assuming zombies dont swim)?
So many options.. I'd run to the Qlap mall. Or the hardware stores near there. Or try to hotwire a car (or steal some keys from somewhere). To be honest, I wouldnt know what I would do after that. If zombies start attacking you here, where else would they be? I mean, imagine the people at Jolibee being zombified?
Then again, zombies are slow buggers. I dont know why someone couldnt just walk faster than them. The movies always show that zombies going in a normal left-right-left-right rhythm. Left. Right. Left. Right. Groan. Repeat. Why couldnt I just walk really fast in the opposite direction? Zombies also should be blind, their eyes are always white. No pupils = no sight. They probably can hear but im sure they cant smell. They would take a shower otherwise instead of looking like they were killed in a dumpster somewhere. They shouldnt be able to feel anything either, otherwise those missing an arm or a leg would be hurting really really bad. So... what is it about these blind, smelly bastards that we cant get away from? Its a puzzlement indeed
What would you do if you were to be attacked by zombies? I'm not talking about mutated fast running zombies. Just your normal everyday living dead. Those that groan and stumble along with an arm or half their mouths missing. What would the average Bruneian do? Would we survive?
Lets make this a bit more interesting. Say you had a starting point. De Fountain cafe in Qlap should do nicely. Lets imagine you were sitting inside De Fountain, and you start noticing zombies lumbering in the front of the cafe. Slow, ugly, smells like someone who stepped in dog shit AND forgot to shower. Dont say you wont be freaked, you'll probably shit in your pants and scream like a girl ( If you already are female, you'll probably not notice a thing, they're kinda look and smell like your ex bfs. LOL)
Anyways, back to escaping, what would a sane person do? Call the police? Sit around and watch them claw the glass? Grab something heavy and go smash them? Jump in the nearby river (assuming zombies dont swim)?
So many options.. I'd run to the Qlap mall. Or the hardware stores near there. Or try to hotwire a car (or steal some keys from somewhere). To be honest, I wouldnt know what I would do after that. If zombies start attacking you here, where else would they be? I mean, imagine the people at Jolibee being zombified?
Then again, zombies are slow buggers. I dont know why someone couldnt just walk faster than them. The movies always show that zombies going in a normal left-right-left-right rhythm. Left. Right. Left. Right. Groan. Repeat. Why couldnt I just walk really fast in the opposite direction? Zombies also should be blind, their eyes are always white. No pupils = no sight. They probably can hear but im sure they cant smell. They would take a shower otherwise instead of looking like they were killed in a dumpster somewhere. They shouldnt be able to feel anything either, otherwise those missing an arm or a leg would be hurting really really bad. So... what is it about these blind, smelly bastards that we cant get away from? Its a puzzlement indeed
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